“If one believes the principle of ‘the survival of the fittest’, then life becomes very depressing.  Darwin himself experienced this. Although many are familiar with his theory of evolution, how many have read his personal letters which he wrote to his friends and colleagues?

Read those and you will find how unhappy his life was!  You would come to know the extent to which his life was full of sorrow. At the end of his life, as he lay sick and dying, having realized that he was not going to survive anymore, he wrote about how a funeral was going on outside his window.  He could hear women’s voice singing songs in God’s rememberance, with lots of intoxication.  He felt their happiness and came to realize that his own life was a sorrowful one.  He thought: ‘I am dying at this moment, my body is going to be left, and…

Children thrive on attention.  If they are not receiving enough positive attention, they will work on getting negative attention.  This can be due to several factors, such as: they don’t feel noticed for the positive things they are doing or for just “being themselves”.  Therefore they resort to making an impact to get your full attention, even if that means that they will be shouted at or bawled out!  They succeeded in their need to be seen.

Research shows that the problem with giving more than twenty seconds of negative attention is that after a short period of time, the child’s negative behavior INCREASES, rather than DECREASES. A habit has been created!

Here’s where “parenting skill #2” enters:  Give Encouragement, pay positive attention, and positively reinforce what your child is doing well!  In the long run it takes less time and less emotional energy to give the  positive attention that…